Happy Halloween from my Surro-babe!

One year ago today we were in count down mode and one day away from my "due date". Today Peanut celebrates his first Halloween.

One year ago - Halloween 2012 - Peanut in my belly

Peanut's first Halloween - 2013

 Seventeen more days until this guy turns the big O-N-E. I just wanna kiss those cheekies!!

Follow your heart.

I knew in my heart that I wanted to help two families have a baby. This was my goal in surrogacy. I knew that this is what I was meant to do. I knew that I wanted to help gay couples as I felt this was a way for me to help out the community and to show my unconditional support for equal rights--all while getting to enjoy being pregnant, sporting a cute baby bump, and helping to create a family!

At the time, I was about two months postpartum, still lactating (because I was donating my milk to another precious family), and I wasn't actively searching for another couple to help. One of my surro-sisters, Kelly, shared a blog link in one of our private Facebook groups of a local couple that were searching for a surrogate to help complete their family. While reading through their blogs (they have two), I had an INSTANT connection to this couple. I felt drawn to them, really. While reading their open letter to their future surrogate, I felt like the letter was written to me. It sounds silly, but it's true. And I just had to meet them! So, I left a comment asking if they were interested, to contact me. Cause that's what you do when you want to have someone's baby, right?

A few weeks later we met in person and fell in love. The connection is hard to describe--we are synced.

I'd like to introduce to you, the daddies to be: Robbie and Allen!!

How cute are they!!

We've all had a few bumps in the road, because that's what happens in surrogacy--it's a roller coaster full of dips and turns and screeching halts and loops and....oh, you get the point.

Most recently we all went through medical screenings and had some things to deal with. Eric, my husband, tested positive again for HTLV and had to be further tested to find/prove that he is truly negative for the virus. We dealt with this last time, so we expected this hurdle to present itself again and knew how to handle it. What I wasn't prepared for this time around was some lovely scar tissue that was found on the inside of my uterus. I had to undergo a hysteroscopy and the removal of said scar tissue before I could be medically cleared to proceed with another surrogacy. I am happy to report the surgery went well and we hit the ground running with contracts and are now a week into medications leading to an embryo transfer!

This is me, Robbie, and my son Aiden after my hysteroscopy.
A big thumbs up for a successful surgery!

We have an exciting weekend ahead planned! My husband and I will be going to brunch this Saturday with Robbie and Allen, their egg donor, and Robbie's parents. I can't wait to meet their family and the egg donor. I foresee a pretty awesome photo op in the near future!! :)

Until next time...(And I promise to do better at updating my blog.)

Testing 1, 2, 3...is anyone out there?

Shame on me for not updating over the past four months. Life has been so busy and time has slipped away from me. I feel terrible that I haven't updated in so long. I've really missed blogging.

Can you believe little Peanut is almost 10 months old!?! I can't. In fact, it blows my mind.

Peanut is handsome as ever! I really enjoy seeing frequent pictures of him growing and thriving with his daddies and fur-brothers. I'm looking forward to his first birthday celebration and hope to make a trip up North to visit with my surro-fam very soon. Peanut is on the verge of walking, probably any day now. It brings so much joy into my life seeing how happy and beautiful he is. I dream of the day he calls me up on the phone just to say hello. Or maybe he'll send me a sweet hand-written note and a drawing of his adorable dogs. So much to look forward too!!

Chillin' in his new chair that his Susu bought for him. 

Surrogacy has brought so much joy and love into my life--more than I could have ever imagined. I knew being a surrogate was something that I was meant to do, but I had no idea how much it would change my life. I am a different person today because of surrogacy. I am a better person today because of surrogacy. I am proud of who I am and what I've done. I am blessed for the family that I have gained and the little miracle that I grew inside of my womb for 42 weeks. I am fortunate for all of the friends and surro-sisters that I have gained over the last three years, too. Surrogacy has been one of the most rewarding experiences in my life.

And ya know what? I'm gonna do it all over again!!! Stay tuned....surrogacy #2 is in the making!! More details to come. *wink!*

My visit with Peanut

Last weekend (well, i'm a little late on blogging, so technically, it was the weekend past last weekend) I was lucky enough to spend the afternoon with Peanut!! AND it was my birthday weekend, so that made the visit extra special.

During our visit, Peanut went for a swim for the first time and LOVED it. I think he's going to end up being a water baby after all!! It must have something to do with gestating for 42 weeks! ;)

My first swim was a success!!

I enjoyed spending the afternoon with my surro fam and watching Peanut swim for the first time; lending a hand during bath time, playing together with all of his toys, and feeding him a bottle before bed time. These were all precious, priceless moments that I will forever treasure.

Peanut is now FIVE months old. Can you believe it? I sure can't! He is growing and thriving beautifully, and his daddies are loving every minute of being new dads!

What a difference a year makes!!
(Left - Me snuggling Peanut in my arms. Right - One year ago, 12 weeks pregnant with Peanut in my belly)

One year ago...The Embryo Transfer

Happy transfer-anniversary to my surro-fam!!!

One year ago today was the successful embryo transfer that resulted in a healthy pregnancy and the delivery of a healthy and beautiful baby boy!

Valentines Day will forever have a new meaning to me and I will never forget the incredible miracle that took place on this very special day.

And as I ring in my 100th blog post I thought I would create a little something special.

Join me as I go back in time, one year ago...

Well hello there cutest surro-baby ever!!

Peanut 6 weeks old

Merry Christmas from Peanut!!
Special xmas jammies from Surro-Momma Annie. 

I can stare at this face all day long, not get anything done, and totally be OK with it. 

4 Weeks Postpartum Update

I seriously can't believe it has already been four weeks since the delivery of Peanut. I've had a lot of questions from friends and family about how I am feeling since the birth and if I still talk with A and M. My answers are, "I'm feeling fantastic!" and "Of course I still talk with A and M!" I enjoy seeing their picture updates of Peanut via Facebook and text messages, too. Every time I see a new picture of him I get lost in his big beautiful eyes and my heart melts all over again. He is truly one of the most beautiful babies ever.

I am happy to report that life is completely back to normal here. I have healed well from the C-section and I'm feeling great both physically and emotionally, to which I have my placenta capsules to thank. Let me explain....

I had my placenta encapsulated after the birth of Peanut. Placenta encapsulation is a process in which your placenta is dehydrated and then ground into powder form, which is then placed into small capsules. Mothers then consume these capsules on a daily basis to help them rebound from birth, balance their hormones, avoid postpartum blues, increase their energy, and enhance their milk supply. I am SO GLAD that I did this. The benefits have been so great and I've seen a noticeable difference in my postpartum recovery. This recovery has probably been the easiest and the quickest out of all my postpartum recoveries.

The great thing is that any unused placenta pills will last indefinitely so long as you keep them in the freezer. So, ten to twenty years from now when I'm going through menopause I can break out my left over pills and start taking them again to help balance out my hormones - naturally! I'm sure my husband will greatly appreciate it. I'll call them my "bitch calming pills".

So, do you wanna see pictures of the encapsulation process of my placenta? If your stomach doesn't get too queasy from viewing graphic pictures, please continue on. Otherwise, avert your eyes now.....

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My placenta

The "super sac" that held Peanut for 42 weeks

"Surrogacy Love"
Peanut's cord in the shape of a heart

Placenta after being steamed

Steamed placenta chopped up and ready to go into the dehydrator

It takes 6-8 hours to complete this step

Placenta after being dehydrated is then ground up into a powder form
(Placenta jerky anyone?)

All ground up and ready to make the capsules

Capsules added

The end result - 237 capsules and Peanut's cord in the shape of a heart

A big THANK YOU to April at Confident Beginnings for introducing me to the idea of Placenta Encapsulation, educating me on the benefits, and for encapsulating my placenta!! Check out April's website at WWW.CONFIDENTBEGINNINGS.COM. She has tons of resources and services like childbirth education, hypnobabies education, and holistic health coaching. She even has an online shop for birthing kits, midwifery/birthing supplies, and herbs and other natural remedies for Mom and Baby. And here's the kicker...April was a surrogate too!! She delivered twins in 2006.

2 Week Postpartum Update

It's been two weeks since the birth of Peanut and things are going great! My life and my family is back in order and i'm feeling fantastic both physically and emotionally. I'm getting around well and healing nicely from the C-section.  The nasty rash that I had is pretty much gone except for some skin discoloration now.

2 week postpartum belly pic

I've been pumping since delivery day and although I had a rough start things are finally coming together nicely. The original "plan" was to pump in the hospital for Peanut, but since my supply didn't start coming in until after my surro-family departed for home, we ended up shipping about a weeks worth of colostrum and breast milk after I returned home from the hospital. It felt good knowing Peanut was getting "the good stuff", even if it was just a weeks worth.

The first of my colostrum. Day 2 postpartum.

All this for my Peanut! 

I plan to continue and pump for as long as I can maintain it. I found a local woman to donate my breast milk to. She is due with her first child (a little girl!) in a few weeks and is a breast cancer survivor who underwent a double mastectomy. Today we met for the first time when she collected our first round of breast milk. I am really excited about this arrangement and hopefully I can help supply her baby with at least a few months worth of breast milk. (That's my goal, anyway)

One week worth of breast milk donated..
Many more weeks to go!

Enough about me...on to Peanut!! He's doing fantastic! A and M have reported that Peanut is a true angel and a really easy baby.....so long as he's fed on time and not a minute too late! They are loving every minute in their new roles as Daddy and Dada. Even Peanut's furry brothers have adjusted well and enjoy watching over him while he sleeps. So precious! Over these next few weeks A and M are expecting out-of-town family to meet Peanut for the first time. The first moments of Peanut meeting his Nana, Susu, Papa, Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins - PRICELESS!

I've really enjoyed seeing pictures of Peanut over these last few weeks. Every time I see a new picture my heart melts all over again. What a beautiful family indeed.

Peanut's Birth Story - The Recovery

To read the Labor and Delivery Story first, CLICK HERE.

Peanut's Birth Story continued....The Recovery.

Peanut, A, M, and Amy headed off to the recovery room while I stayed back to get stitched up. I joined them shortly after.

Peanut hanging out while taking in his new world.

I am so thankful that I was able to join my surro family in the recovery room. M got to do skin-to-skin first, followed by A. Watching the first moments of the new family together and bonding was a very special and rewarding moment for me.  This is what it was all about right here. This is why I became a surrogate. Witnessing the instant connection and love between Peanut and his Daddies was priceless.

Dada "M" doing skin-to-skin bonding with his new son.

Daddy "A" doing skin-to-skin while feeding Peanut his first bottle

Peanut's first bath.

Me holding Peanut for the first time.

After an hour or so, Peanut and his daddies headed to their own room and Amy switched out with my husband so that he could come back to see me. I stayed in recovery for a while longer while the anesthesia wore off and then I was wheeled into my own private room.

Later that afternoon Peanut and his daddies stopped by for a visit. They brought along a little blue bag that caught my eye right away. The kind of little blue bag that every girl loves – A Tiffany’s bag! A and M bought me a beautiful charm bracelet with the letter “A” for Ari on it. Every time I wear it I will be reminded of the family that I helped to create and the amazing experience that we went through, together, to bring little Peanut into this world.

I also had a few gifts for my Peanut. The t-shirts I had made from etsy. The blanket, lovey, and burp cloths were made by me. 

How perfect are these!

A and M love their pups, so I found this fabric fitting. 

It's a tradition in my family to receive handmade burp cloths for a new baby.
My mother taught me years ago how to make these - they are the perfect shape to lay over your shoulder.
I was honored to be able to continue the family tradition and make these for my Peanut and his Daddies.

The following morning (Sunday, November 18th) Amy set up a mini photo shoot in my room for lil’ Peanut. Oh my goodness, the photos turned out SO CUTE! I can’t get over how perfect and beautiful this child is. I wish I could take credit for the beautiful part, but they aren't my genes. I did grow him perfectly though!

Pure perfection.

The remainder of our hospital stay was a pleasant one. All of the nurses at Saddleback Memorial Medical Center were awesome (There's your shout out, Nurse Tiffany!). They truly made our stay a memorable one. We enjoyed visits from family and friends and everyone loved meeting Peanut and some even meeting A and M for the first time.

My daughter meeting and holding Peanut for the first time.

My family saying "Hello" to lil' Peanut
all bundled up on the pillow in front of me.

Flowers and a sweet note
received from my surrogacy agency.

Monday, November 19th:

My surro family's departure was a bitter-sweet one. A and M asked if I would like some alone time to spend with Peanut before they head out. I excitedly said, "Yes, of course!" They didn't have to do this, but they did and I love them for it.  I will treasure that time with my Surro Babe forever. It was truly a special moment between a Surro Momma and her Surro Baby. It allowed me private time to say goodbye to the child that I carried for 42 weeks and also signified the end of my journey as A and M's Gestational Surrogate. My "job" is now complete and their new life and family is just beginning. I was so proud of my accomplishment and I am so lucky to have the opportunity to watch my Surro Family grow for many, many years to come. We are family now and they are stuck with me. 

Saying my goodbyes to Peanut.

The Daddies, Peanut, and Me.

I stayed another two days in the hospital. I probably could have pushed to go leave sooner, but with a C-section you are allowed 4 full days in the hospital so I took advantage of it. I am so glad that I did. It gave me time alone to process what we all just went through. It gave me time to heal (physically, mentally, and emotionally) and time to reflect on our amazing journey. It also gave me time to cry and sort through my emotions without feeling judged. What we all just experienced was BIG, so naturally there were many emotions that came along with it.

Staying those few extra days in the hospital really made a difference with my recovery. I was having a hard time managing the pain from my C-section. We went through a few different pain medications before one finally worked - Percocet is a life saver! I also ended up breaking out in a rash all over my stomach. Apparently I had an allergic reaction to the glue that was used to hold down the tape strips over my incision.

NOT. FUN.

Three days postpartum belly shot

On Wednesday, November 21^st, my family arrived to take me home. It was weird being wheeled out of the hospital without a baby to show for it. The drive home felt odd to me. A few tears ran down my face. When we arrived at home I felt lost and out of place. Life was continuing on around me and I didn't know how to jump back in, nor did I feel ready to. I went to my room and cried. I didn't know why I was crying, but I was crying. It felt good to cry. I felt like I needed to find myself again. Surrogacy had taken up so much of my life for the past 2 years and now that it was over I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't have a newborn to care for, but I was pumping every two hours and struggling to get around with my C-section pain. I needed to figure out how my life was going to continue now that I am home and no longer pregnant.

I was aware of the “blues” that surrogates go through after the delivery of their surrogate baby - It's a natural and normal process that we all go through - I just didn't expect it to hit me the second I arrived home. I confided in my amazing surro-sisters for support during this emotional transition. Each and every one of them reconfirmed how normal it was to experience what I was going through. I took comfort in knowing that I was going to be OK and that this too shall pass...

I laid myself up on the couch for the remainder of the day. Eric and the kids waited on me so that I didn't have to struggle getting up off the couch. As the hours passed I started to feel much better. Then the door bell rang. Eric had stepped out so I was forced to get up and answer the door. Much to my surprise, it was a flower delivery. 

"Welcome home. We love you. M, A, and Ari"

Tears poured down my face again as I walked the flowers into my kitchen. I sat there, crying, staring at these beautiful flowers and reading the card over and over again. I am so lucky. So blessed. So in love with my new Surro Family. This was just the pick-me-up that I needed to get me through the rest of my first day back home. 

The following day was Thanksgiving. I was nervous about getting out of the house so soon and being overwhelmed by questions and "how are yous". I wasn't ready for all of that just yet as I was still sensitive to the birth and afraid I would break out into tears in front of everyone. Our day ended up being the exact opposite of what I was so nervous about. My in-laws welcomed my family into their home with loving arms (as always) and they knew that I needed my space to just be. I wasn't bombarded with questions and "how are yous", and in fact they knew just the right things to make me feel good - like offer me my first glass of wine with dinner. This Thanksgiving was a memorable one and it definitely helped to ease my way back into "Life".