Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Canceled Transfer

Well, as the headline states, the transfer has been canceled. Due to privacy concerns for others involved, I will not go into detail.

I am ok. Totally bummed out, but I will be fine. I am looking at this as I was lucky enough to do a trial run...now I know what to expect for round #2. I know the meds and injections are totally do-able now, and I know that my body  and my uterus reacts beautifully to the meds.

I am keeping my head up and thinking positive about the situation. This just wasn't our time.....and that is OK. Our time will come. I am positive about that.

I will use these next few "free" months to get myself into better shape. This will ultimately better my chances at a successful VBAC next year. This is very important to me.

My sister turns 24 next week. I am thankful that I am now able to celebrate with her and have a few drinks in her honor.

Over the next week I will wean myself off the medication that I have been taking for the past four weeks. I'll get a period and then hop back on birth control pills until we are all ready for round #2.

Anyhow, there is not much more to say...I just wanted to give you all a quick update so you are not left hanging and wondering what ever happened to Andrea. I will probably take a break from blogging for a while and until things start to pick up again. It could be a few months...at the least.

I am in it to win it, so please don't feel bad for me about what has happened. Surrogacy comes with so much uncertainty and has taught me so much about patience and flexibility. I love my IPs very much and I look forward to this next go-around together with them.

**One year ago today I received something very special in the mail. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Counting Down Until Transfer Day

The transfer is less than two weeks away and I couldn't be more thrilled!! I never thought this day would finally come and to know that it's just a week and a half away....is amazing.

I am so excited to see my Intended Fathers. We talk/text/email regularly, but haven't seen each other since our match meeting in July. I'm hoping we are able to spend a few days together while they are down for the egg retrieval and transfer.

I might have the opportunity to meet the egg donor next week while she is in town for the egg retrieval. If it works out while my Guys are in town, this will make for one hell of a photo opp!!

My son, Aiden, is becoming more and more involved and excited about the surrogacy. My heart smiles every time Aiden asks questions. Most recently he asked when he will get to meet The Guys and wanted to know if they could bring their dog with them. So cute. The other night while I was quietly administering my Lupron injection, Aiden walks in and says, "Mom, I want to do it!". So, I let him push the syringe. I was expecting him to say something...maybe smile or giggle? Nope. When he was finished he just walked away. It was like he was a pro.

How are the injections coming along? Not as bad as I thought they would be. The Lupron (tummy) injections are the easiest ones with the needle being so teeny tiny. I am able to give these to myself with no problems. My only complaint now is that it seems like my skin is getting tough to stick the needle into. I've been rotating sides/areas, but nothing is helping. The big estrogen (booty) shots are going well--I've only had 3 so far. I can not do them on my own, so my sister has been coming over every three nights for those injections. Tonight she must have hit a vein because there was a lot of blood. It didn't hurt, but she sure was worried that she had done something wrong.

(excuse me while I side track for a moment)

This is how I have organized my meds, needles, syringes, alcohol wipes, ect.
(Lupron stays in the fridge)
I refill my caddy as needed and store it out of the way until the next use.

This past weekend I enjoyed a last hoorah with my girlfriends.
Sushi and drinks were in order.
When the restaurant manager got word of our celebration, he brought me this desert.
Best. Candle. Ever!!
(What was I saying?? Oh yea...)

I had a monitoring appointment this past Monday and much to my surprise my uterine lining is already at 16mm!! When the ultrasound tech told me this, I screamed, "SIXTEEN!?!". At last weeks appointment--I had just started my period that morning--and my lining was at 5.8mm, so I wasn't expecting to hear 16mm already. With that said, and being that my body is reacting nicely to the meds, there will be no increase in estrogen this week. (for those of you unaware..estrogen helps to thicken the uterine lining...thus making the perfect, cushy environment for the little embies to "stick")

I'm excited...and a little nervous to see what my lining will be at this coming Monday. I'd prefer to stay around 16mm.

Transfer is in T minus 12 days. Aaaack!!! I can't believe it.
"A" and "M", let's get pregnant!!

***One year ago I was prepping for my first Match Meeting.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I want my Mommy!!!!

Holy shit. I knew this next round of injections was going to be tough, but as I look at the needle that will be going into my bum.....I feel like crying. I WANT MY MOMMY!!! No seriously. I want my Mom here with me for this injection. My Mom is my rock and if anybody can get me through this, it is my Mom.

This week I start the next phase of medication and another injection. In addition to the Lupron injection that I've been taking every night for the past week and a half, I will be adding to my daily ritual.....Estrace (2mg 1tab 2x/day), PNV/Folate/DHEA (vitamins 3x/day), and the dreaded Estradiol injection (0.1cc into my bum every 3 days).

I opened one of the needles tonight. Not freakin' cool. And you want me to stick this WHERE!?!?

My Mom is out of the country on business but she returns Thursday night. I hope she's home in time to help me with my first bum shot. If not, I have a lovely surro-sister who has already volunteered to drive down here and help me.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Day 4 of Lupron

I was really nervous for my first Lupron injection.

Friday night, after my son's football practice, we headed out to pizza with the team. I found my self hanging around as long as possible, having a few (too many!) beers with the parents and procrastinating. I wasn't ready to go home. As excited as I am to be where we are at on this journey, I wasn't ready to face the fact that I had to stab myself with a needle. I was terrified that when I walked through my front door it was shot time. So instead, I poured myself another beer and continued to procrastinate.

11:30pm rolled around. I think we closed down the pizza place. It was time to head home. The team had opening day the next morning and we had to be back at the field at 8:30am. It was time to go home. It was time for the shot.

I prepped the syringe with 10 units of Lupron. Numbed my belly with ice. Rubbed the area with an alcohol swab. And then I stood there. The needle in my hand. I couldn't do it. I could't stab myself. Shaking my head, I yelled to Eric, "This is wrong!" thinking no one should ever have to stab them self. I continued to just stand there with the needle ready and in my hand. Finally, I gave the needle a little tap tap on my belly to see if I could feel anything. Nothing. No pain. Deep breathes.......I can do this!

Then I heard Aiden running down the stairs to give me a kiss goodnight and I thought to myself, damn it, I need to do this now. Tap, tap, tap, tap, puuuush!!!! It was in. No pain at all. 

Psssht. I got this!!! 

All that hype for nothing. It was literally painless.

Fast forward to Sunday night. I got a little too comfortable with my shot administering abilities. I thought, lets see if I can do this without the ice. There was a little pinch, but nothing more. Sweet!

Then a burning sensation crept up on me and lasted for about an hour. Dang it!! Was it because I didn't use ice? Maybe it was because I injected the Lupron too low on my belly?

The next morning (Monday) I woke up to this:

Don't mind the redish looking skin...this was taken from my camera phone.

A nice dollar-coin-size bruise. Nice. Just nice. 

Lesson learned. Use ice with every injection. And stay within 2 inches below the belly button when injecting the Lupron. 

Friday, September 2, 2011

And so it begins

Meds have arrived!!!  Meds have arrived!!! Meds have arrived!!!

T = 31 days until (possible) transfer!!!!!!!!!!!

This is enough medication for....get this....ONE MONTH!!
Of course there are more needles and syringes, but I didn't want to pull them all out just for the picture.
I had my first monitoring appointment today. This will be the first of many monitoring appointments throughout this cycle and leading up to the transfer. These appointments consist of blood work and a lovely transvaginal ultrasound.

Say hello to Mr. Weenie Wand....complete with a condom and lube!!

I received confirmation today that I am to start the Lupron injections this evening!! Holy hell, can you believe it!?! I'm already clenching my teeth at the thought of giving myself a shot on a daily basis. Thank goodness the needle is small!


Anyhow. I was going to video tape my first injection, but I have decided against it. My belly, where the injection site takes place, is not pretty enough for all to see. So instead, I have found a Lupron injection demonstration on YouTube.  Enjoy!

***One year ago I had a BIG announcement!!