Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Beautiful Birth Story

I just had to share this AMAZING blog post from another surrogate mother on the birth of her surro-son. Her birth story is intense and the pictures brought tears to my eyes -- especially this picture of her handing baby Thomas over to his Mother who had waited nearly a decade for this very moment. Simply beautiful. THIS is why I have chosen to become a surrogate mother.

Click Here For Thomas' Story 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Waiting Game

I hate waiting. I'm not very good at it. I go crazy thinking about all of the "what ifs". I hop on the internet and research every single possibility to educate myself about those "what ifs". My mind races at a million miles per hour during my down time like when trying to get to bed at night, which in return leaves me with only a few hours of deep sleep. I wake groggy and start the process all over again. I hate waiting. I didn't realize the matching process would take such a long time. When I first started my surrogacy journey, for some reason I was under the impression that this would go quickly. I know there are Intended Parents looking at my profile. I know they are interested--the agency told me. But why is it taking so long? I hate waiting.

There is so much involved when being matched for surrogacy. It's not just about matching personalities and personal views between surrogate moms and the Intended Parents. It also includes lawyers, insurance, and other doctors. I have peace in knowing that all of the proper steps are being taken to match me with the perfect couple. It's just hard for me to sit back and wait. Did I mention I hate waiting?? :)

While I sit back and wait, I have really enjoyed looking at other surro moms' BLOGS online. I love reading their personal surrogacy stories, updates, and seeing pictures of their milestones. I also have connected with a few Intended Parents via their BLOGS online. It's really neat to hear the IP's point of view on the whole surrogacy adventure. This all just re-solidifies why I am taking this surrogacy journey and makes me THAT much more excited to get started!

I guess I should let you all know that one of the 3 IP's interested in my profile backed out. The couple from Los Angeles decided they wanted to go with a surrogate mom who has done this before. I'm ok with this and wish them the very best.

The couple from Hungary is getting close to saying "OK". Their doctors have reviewed my medical history. They are now working with a lawyer and an insurance company to see what they are up against before moving forward with the matching process. I did find out today that this couple would like to match with 2 surro moms. They want to grow their family now and not have to go through this process again down the road. I'm not sure how I feel about this. My first thought was that I don't want another surro mom embarking on MY journey, but then I quickly realized how neat it would be to rely on each other for support and grow a friendship together. I will have to sleep on it, talk with my husband Eric, and also rely on my support network.

Last but not least, I recently purchased a few books on surrogacy. Delivering Hope is a book on the extraordinary journey of a surrogate mom. I just read the first chapter last night and I'm hooked. I'm really looking forward to reading this book! The other book that I purchased was for my son Aiden called The Kangaroo Pouch. This book helps to introduce the concept of surrogacy to children. I don't want to read this book to Aiden too prematurely. I will wait until we are officially matched to do this.

Well, that's it for now.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

On a more exciting note...

Last Friday I received a call from Family Creations, the agency that I am working with to get matched, and they informed me that I have 3 possible Intended Parents looking at my profile and that they are working with their doctors to see if I'm the right candidate for them (medically). My medical history (that I authorized the release of) is in their doctor's hands for review. I was told that I would hopefully hear something by the end of this week and that it is highly likely that one of these three will be the one (with our approval, of course!)--How exciting!!!

Location of the 3 possible IP's:
--Los Angeles (the first couple that showed an interest and that I mentioned previously)
--Northern California
--Europe, Hungary to be exact (neat!!!)

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am! All of the things that are running through my head are keeping me up at night. 

Once one of these three couples decides to go ahead with me, I will then get the opportunity to view their profile and agree to a match meeting. 

Yay, so excited!!!! :D

Q & A

I have been asked a lot of questions regarding this whole surrogacy adventure and so I thought it would be nice to compile them all and share on this blog. I'm sure more questions will roll in, so I will post a part II later.

Are you sure you want to do this?? We are absolutely, 100+% sure about becoming surrogate parents. Eric and I have talked about this a billion times and are confident in our decision to move forward. This is something that I have wanted to do for a while now, and I am very blessed to have my husband stand by my side and support me unconditionally. We are both very excited about this whole surrogacy journey.

Will fertilized eggs be placed inside you? Yes. This will all be done through In Vitro Fertilization (a.k.a. IVF). On average 1-2 eggs will be transferred--yes, that means there is a good possibility that I will carry twins!! For more information on IVF click HERE.

Whose egg and sperm will it be--especially if they were a gay couple? If a traditional couple (man and wife), then their egg/sperm will be used. If he or she is infertile, they will choose a sperm or egg donor of their choice. If a gay (male) couple, it is up to them to choose who's sperm they will use. Also, they will have to select an egg donor of their choice. My eggs will NOT be used.  

Are you getting paid for this, and if so, how much? This is an awkward question; particularly because this is really nobody's business. Yes, we are getting compensated. But let me make this very clear from the beginning--we are not doing this for the money.  Yes, the money will be helpful in getting our finances together and will put us that much closer to buying our first home, but, the MAIN reason (especially for me) we are doing this is for the amazing journey. To be able to provide another couple the gift of a child means the world to me. My husband and I are so honored to take part in such an incredible journey. The compensation is just a nice little "Thank you" for the 24/7 work that myself, my body, and my family will be going through over the next year. 

Will your kids wonder where the baby is going? I anticipate a lot of questions from Aiden (my 5yr old). Addison not so much, obviously, because of her age (21mos). Eric and I will be open and upfront from the very beginning and do our very best to educate them on what's going on.

Do you plan to do this more than once? We'll see how this first experience all goes. I would still like to have one more child of my own someday (wishful thinking!!). I have been reading other surrogate mom's blogs online, and it looks like almost every one of them come out with a positive and amazing experience and they are continuing on to be a gestational surrogate more than once.

What kind of requirements did you have to do for them to give approval for you to become a surrogate? For the basic requirements that I had to meet, click HERE
Once my initial application was approved, I then had to complete a more in-depth application, phone interview, create my profile that will be viewable online to intended parents, submit pictures of myself and my family, release medical history from my previous pregnancies, agree to a background check on myself and my husband, complete a psychological test, and have a home-visit from the agency.

Are you going to be able to give the baby up once he/she is born? Yes, of course! The baby (or babies!) will have no genetic connection to me. This will not be my baby. Eric and I will have no part in the creation of this baby--I'm just the oven for the bun. I believe that throughout the 10 months of being pregnant we will use that time to establish a bond and close friendship with the intended parents. When the time comes, I will be so happy and proud to hand the baby over. I don't look at it as "giving up" a baby; I look at it as I am "giving back" THEIR baby.