Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Breakup

Oh wow. I don't even know where to begin. It's been about a month since my last post and there is a reason for that. We've hit a major bump in the road. A bump that has left me no longer matched with my IPs (Intended Parents). We've come so far and that is what hurts the most. I've had a really hard time these past few weeks. So emotional. So confused. Broken hearted. Scared. Angry. It totally sucks. And the hardest part--I can't talk about it to everyone. I can't blog about the specifics. If you know me, then you would know that I have a hard time keeping things to myself. But this--This I am not able to share. Not yet, at least.

I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. I may not know or understand WHY at this very moment, but I will some day. I pray that we can overcome this "obstacle" and move forward so that I can be rematched with another couple in the very near future. My heart and soul is set on being a gestational surrogate so I will keep fighting for my journey. My heart and soul is set on helping a couple bring a child into this world, so I will keep fighting. I will not give up. I want this so badly it hurts. It was taken from me so abruptly and I am was angry for that. I know God has another plan for me so I will trust in him. Knowing and remembering that this is in Gods hands is what gives me peace.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


18 comments:

Jeni said...

Oh Andrea...this makes me soooo sad! I am so sorry! This must be a very difficult time. Hang in there. I know things will be better soon! You are such a sweet, loving, giving person and I know that God has the perfect journey in store for you. Take care.

Jess said...

I'm sorry to hear this--and I'll be thinking and praying for you! You will be a surro some day, I know it. :)

Surrogate, Single Parent and Dating... said...

So sorry and been thinking about you a lot!!! God does have a plan and He will work it out!!! Take care girly and you know you can email me if you ever want to talk.

P.S. on a side not, love your new look on your blog!!! :)

momof4 said...

Everything does happen for a reason and I know in my heart you will have your own journey some day soon. you are amazing and I couldn't do it without your support:)

Babydreams2011 said...

Oh no Andrea!!! I am so sorry things turned out the way they did.. I will keep you in my prayers and I am here if you need someone! Also maybe you can look into an independent journey? Don't give up on your dream whatever the situation! {{HUGS!!}}

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry Andrea! I will be praying for you and what plans God has for you. Don't give up on your dream. I wish I could give you a hug in person. Hugs!

Krystal said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Andrea! I know it sucks! I hope you will be able to rematch soon. **hugs**

Mommy with Many Gifts said...

I'm glad we got to chat the other day... I hope I helped a little?? I know this sucks and is really confusing (trust me, I am still thinking about the whole thing and I am so frustrated by it too). But, I know everything is going to work out and you are going to find the most wonderful IP's that will stick with you through good AND bad times. Hang in there and call me whenever you need to chat.

Heidi said...

Andrea, I have been thinking a lot about you and wondering what was going on....I'm sooo sorry to hear this news. It sounds like you have a positive attitude and all I can say is keep it up. Your perfect match is out there. Don't stop believin'!

Priscilla Aguirre said...

WoW Girl!! This happened to me too!! Dont worry we are special women and one day we can both give the gift of life to a well deserving couple and everything will run smoothly. Take a look at my blog and see what I was going through!!

Good Luck!!

RebekahRose said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news... I hope things are ok for you soon. Take care!!

tasha said...

Do not give up! There is a couple out there waiting for you as their perfect surrogate. I'm so sorry that this happened and is causing so many emotions in you, AND you can't even talk about it. :/ Keep on enduring -- looking forward to more updates from you. :)

paradykes said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm sure God has other plans for you and you just need to let him guide you to the right path. It doesn't make the hurt any less though. Lean on your surro friends, it's an awesome community.

linda said...

There are loads of IPs, IMs,and IFs out there looking for a special GS such as yourself. It sucks that this happened to you, but I agree that it just means that something better is coming your way. Truly have faith in that. :-)

Lilianne said...

Hey Andrea, Found the link to your blog on the boards and thought I would see how you were doing since the meet up. I'm so sorry to read that your match fell through. I know that you will find new IP's and have a wonderful journey! I hope we can all get together again soon! It was so nice meeting you :)

SurroMom said...

Andrea, girl, I just wanted you to know that I am so sorry. Breakups suck and there is no other way to explain it other than that. I am so sorry and I know that there are IPs out there who would LOVE to have you as their surrogate.
I don't know you personally but from everything I have read from you I don't see how any IP could pass up an opportunity to have you carry their baby! I know you will get your chance!
Hang in there and I know all things happen for a reason. :]

messica said...

I'm sorry sweetie. Keep your chin up... this has been a great growing experience for you... and it will all come together the way it's supposed to. Let's get together soon, miss you!

Mike and Tony said...

OMGosh, I am catching up on your blog and thinking that I hope this works out!!! I will not jump to the end of the story. I will not jump to the end of the story. LOL