Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Q & A

I have been asked a lot of questions regarding this whole surrogacy adventure and so I thought it would be nice to compile them all and share on this blog. I'm sure more questions will roll in, so I will post a part II later.

Are you sure you want to do this?? We are absolutely, 100+% sure about becoming surrogate parents. Eric and I have talked about this a billion times and are confident in our decision to move forward. This is something that I have wanted to do for a while now, and I am very blessed to have my husband stand by my side and support me unconditionally. We are both very excited about this whole surrogacy journey.

Will fertilized eggs be placed inside you? Yes. This will all be done through In Vitro Fertilization (a.k.a. IVF). On average 1-2 eggs will be transferred--yes, that means there is a good possibility that I will carry twins!! For more information on IVF click HERE.

Whose egg and sperm will it be--especially if they were a gay couple? If a traditional couple (man and wife), then their egg/sperm will be used. If he or she is infertile, they will choose a sperm or egg donor of their choice. If a gay (male) couple, it is up to them to choose who's sperm they will use. Also, they will have to select an egg donor of their choice. My eggs will NOT be used.  

Are you getting paid for this, and if so, how much? This is an awkward question; particularly because this is really nobody's business. Yes, we are getting compensated. But let me make this very clear from the beginning--we are not doing this for the money.  Yes, the money will be helpful in getting our finances together and will put us that much closer to buying our first home, but, the MAIN reason (especially for me) we are doing this is for the amazing journey. To be able to provide another couple the gift of a child means the world to me. My husband and I are so honored to take part in such an incredible journey. The compensation is just a nice little "Thank you" for the 24/7 work that myself, my body, and my family will be going through over the next year. 

Will your kids wonder where the baby is going? I anticipate a lot of questions from Aiden (my 5yr old). Addison not so much, obviously, because of her age (21mos). Eric and I will be open and upfront from the very beginning and do our very best to educate them on what's going on.

Do you plan to do this more than once? We'll see how this first experience all goes. I would still like to have one more child of my own someday (wishful thinking!!). I have been reading other surrogate mom's blogs online, and it looks like almost every one of them come out with a positive and amazing experience and they are continuing on to be a gestational surrogate more than once.

What kind of requirements did you have to do for them to give approval for you to become a surrogate? For the basic requirements that I had to meet, click HERE
Once my initial application was approved, I then had to complete a more in-depth application, phone interview, create my profile that will be viewable online to intended parents, submit pictures of myself and my family, release medical history from my previous pregnancies, agree to a background check on myself and my husband, complete a psychological test, and have a home-visit from the agency.

Are you going to be able to give the baby up once he/she is born? Yes, of course! The baby (or babies!) will have no genetic connection to me. This will not be my baby. Eric and I will have no part in the creation of this baby--I'm just the oven for the bun. I believe that throughout the 10 months of being pregnant we will use that time to establish a bond and close friendship with the intended parents. When the time comes, I will be so happy and proud to hand the baby over. I don't look at it as "giving up" a baby; I look at it as I am "giving back" THEIR baby. 


Merr said...

Hi I stumbled upon your blog. I am a gestational surrogate about to do a transfer. Just wanted to say that I love your answers. They are pretty much the same as I would have answered. Excited to follow your journey!

Andrea said...

Thanks for following along, Merr :) All the best with your transfer. Looking forward to following your journey as well!!

Kelly & Her Uterus said...

Andrea- if you haven't yet, get your kids the book The Kangaroo Pouch- really helps explain the concept to children.


And I hate when people ask me about the money- luckily, those who know me don't ask and see that it's rude . . . it's just strangers and students who ask me.

Andrea said...

Hi Kelly!! I already wrote the name of that book down a few weeks ago....got it off of one of your postings. ;) Thanks for the reminder though cause I need to get it!!

Anonymous said...

I love your q&a here. I think this is such a great idea. I have just started the approval process with GG and have my phone consult scheduled for tomorrow. I am so excited to move forward with surrogacy. I'm so glad I found your blog!

Andrea said...

Hey Anonymous!! How'd your phone consult go with GG? If you have any questions, I'd be happy to help! I had a wonderful experience with them. You can email me privately at surfcitysurro @ gmail . com (remove the spaces!) I'd love to chat with you!