Monday, October 29, 2012

39 Weeks - Reflecting

Only three days left in my 39th week of this pregnancy.

Three days until my estimated due date (11/1/12).


My journey started over two years ago in the summer of 2010. I applied to a smaller agency with the hopes of being matched quickly and getting pregnant in a flash. I really had NO idea what I was getting myself into though. I mean, I did my research about surrogacy prior to applying and I knew that i wanted to work with an agency; I knew that I was getting myself pregnant with another couple's child(ren); I knew all about the medications that i would be on....But what I didn't know was the crazy roller coaster of events that would take place causing heartache, stress, anger, frustration and confusion. I just wanted to help a deserving couple have a biological baby who otherwise weren't able to do so on their own. Who would have thought that I would be matched with a nice couple only to be denied by their RE and let go by the agency because of a false positive health issue with my husband? Now that I look back on all of that though, I think that was the universe's way of letting me know that was the wrong agency to work with and the wrong couple to be matched with. I am SO thankful for all that I went through that lead me to Growing Generations and ultimately to my current IPs. Everything happens for a reason, right?

Once re-screened and approved through Growing Generations in the Spring/Summer of 2011, I was matched pretty quickly with A and M. Actually, I had A and M's profile even before I passed screening and weeks before our match meeting, but shhhh, don't say anything. ;) We went through contracts at lightening speed and started meds right away for an October 2011 transfer. What we didn't expect was our transfer to be canceled just a week before the big day due to the egg donor not responding to the medication. That was a huge let down and heartache for us all and it took months to recover. I am thankful for those months though, as it allowed for me to get to know A and M a little better. It wasn't until January 2012 that A and M found a new egg donor and we were back on track for another transfer date of February 15th, 2012. This successful transfer resulted in PEANUT! Again...everything happens for a reason. All of the stars in the sky were aligned for this one, for sure.

I think it's fair enough to say that I had more than my fair share of "waiting" and a crazy roller coaster of a ride in the beginning but you know what, looking back on all of that now I wouldn't have had it any other way. All of the heartache, stress, anger, frustration and confusion with the first agency; then moving over to Growing Generations where they took me under their wings and saw that my husband was tested further to prove the false positive with HTLV; followed by more medical screenings, psychological screenings, another match meeting, legal paperwork, contracts, months of medications and daily injections, ultrasounds, pregnancy screenings, OB appointments....ALL worth it! A, M, and myself are exactly where we're supposed to be and couldn't be happier. We set out to have a baby and a baby we are having very soon! I'm a little sad that my part--my job--is coming to an end, but I'm so incredibly happy that I'm just DAYS away from creating a family--A and M's family!

Family and friends ask me: "Are you ready to be done with being pregnant?"
My answer is: "No. I'm actually pretty content right now and loving this pregnancy."

I have truly enjoyed this pregnancy. I've felt the best I have ever felt during this pregnancy than i did with my last two. Maybe it's because I've only gained 22lbs this pregnancy? I think it's because I don't have the added stress of preparing for a baby to come home with me. I didn't have to register and purchase baby items. I didn't have a baby shower. I didn't have to prepare a nursery or come up with a name for this child. I just get to enjoy being pregnant--which I love--and in the end I get to hand this beautiful baby boy over to his daddies. I get to create a family! How awesome is that!?!

39 week belly shot
I still haven't packed my hospital bags yet. I know..shame on me because this little Nut can come at any time now. I keep procrastinating and making excuses to hold off just a tad longer though. I also need to get a mani/pedi but I've been pushing that back too. It's my way of telling the universe that I'm not quite ready for this to be over just yet. I need one more week. One more week and I will be good to go. One more week and my BSSF (best surro-sister forever), Amy, will be here to hold my hand through this. She is also an amazing photographer and will capture the beautiful moments of my labor and Peanut's birth.

 So, one more week, you got that, Peanut!?! Please give us one more week.

How am I feeling? There have been a few noticeable changes going on within the past few days that I'd like to document. (some might be TMI, so avert your eyes if you wish)
  • My hands, feet, arm pits, and other places I'd rather not mention are sweating like crazy. It was this bad back when i was on all of that medication. So, I have a feeling that a surge of hormones are taking place...hence...labor is approaching!
  • My nipples are super sore. They've been fine and sensitive-free up until now. (again, hormone surge?)
  • I'm leaking more than usual colostrum. ( my body telling me it's almost go-time?)
  • My back is starting to get achy again even with me seeing a chiropractor each week. 
  • I have the urgency to make sure my house is super clean and everything is put away. My housekeeper came Saturday, but sure enough, we still cleaned, organized, and fixed things all day on Sunday. Nesting? I think so...
Doctor appointments: My next OB appointment is this Wednesday. Chiropractor Saturday.

Weight gain: Up one more pound as of last week. We'll see what this week brings. I am at a total of 22 pounds gained during this pregnancy. (remember my goal is 25 I'm stoked with the 22lbs at 39 weeks!)

Sleep: My hips are going numb now so I'm constantly tossing and turning to find a good spot, but it only last for so long and then I'm back to tossing and turning again.

Mood: Nervous!!

Exciting moment: I can't go into complete details just yet, but I recently finished Peanut's birthday project and I am so excited to give it to A & M!! I'll post pictures later because it is that awesome and I'm pretty darn proud of it. 

And....this just arrived at my door step.

Crap. I better pack my hospital bags!!


Mike and Tony said...

You look absolutely adorable!!! I can't believe that your ride. All I can say is how amazing that you stuck in there and what an incredible blessing to be giving (I know first hand). You are truly a rock star.

Jeff and Kevin said...

I agree, total rock star! You look amazing. I can't wait to see the photo shoot bc she really is awesome. Thanks so much for sharing your journey!

BreAnna said...

I hadn't seen any blogs in a few days and I thought you went off to have Peanut...but nope, you're busy loving your last days of pregnancy. Lol. Love the belly pic, you don't look miserable at all. I hope you have an easy labor and delivery!

Carla said...

You look beautiful! Best wishes on the birth!

Michael said...

I'm not ready for this journey to be over for you! I LOVE your blog and I have been following your story for so long. I hope we'll still get some more updates from time to time.

Melissa said...

Great post! You are right where you are supposed to be and the peanut you're growing will soon be right where he's supposed to be... in the arms of his daddies. It's an amazing thing. Good luck with labor and delivery!